Actually, it is I, Alonzo! Meraki Movement’s Fabulous (and only) Official Spokespaca!
I am writing to tell you 3 very important things!
I SMELL SMOKE!
Nothing is as peaceful and romantic as sitting by a roaring fire. wrapped in a cozy Alpaca blanket. Except maybe our FIRE SALE!
Meraki Movement is having a Fire sale: 20% off from Dec 15-23 - automatically applied at checkout!
You know what you can buy with that kind of ALPACA-FIREPOWER? EVERYTHING!
Check out our beautiful scarves like the beautiful Isabella scarf that looks like a an old fashioned Christmas ornament.
What about our Royalty Alpaca throw? How regal! Like this ROYAL and joyous image of Queen Elizabeth (RIP) in her iconic Purple Coat.
But really, what can top this stunner of a quilt? Our hot pink Socialite Queen-sized blanket! Well, maaaaaybe Paris Hilton channeling Barbie in her hot bink Bentley.
Take advantage of this Fire Sale now before the 2022 stock is gone! SHOP NOW!
Reminder! Last Market Weekend - Banff and Spruce Meadows!
The International Christmas Market at Spruce Meadows wraps up for the season on the first weekend of December! Remember, if you want to go, you must buy your tickets ahead of time!
Fridays: 12:00 p.m.–9:00 p.m. (New later time!)
Saturdays: 10:00 a.m.–6:00 p.m.
Sundays: 10:00 a.m.–5:00 p.m
You will find us in the Founders Plaza.
The Banff Christmas Market finishes up the same weekend, Dec 2 -4th - Christmas comes but once a year, so make the most of it and make some holiday memories!
This event also requires tickets!
Friday: 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.,
Saturday: 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.,
Sunday: 10 a.m. - 4 p.m.
You can find us in the Main Stables.
Alonzo Diary – The Christmas party that almost was.
I was invited to an Ex-mas Parteh last week (I say Ex-mas because it was my Ex’s Christmas party. And by invite, I mean I was going to crash it). Despite all my ex’s flaws (Sooooo many) I miss her carefully crafted, meticulously curated, fastidiously fussy soirees! The food is empirical! Many of them remind me of home! Like ROASTED PORK LEG – HORNADO DE CHANCHO and CANELAZO, a hot spiced drink similar to Canadian Cider. Her decorating skills match Former First Lady Melania Trumps Christmas style, but with more…style. And colour. And general festiveness.
Wrapped in my usual layers of warm, fashionable Alpaca products from Meraki Movement - my Jolly Rancher Scarf, my Quinchua Alpaca Poncho in Teal and my favourite Toque in reversible grey and teal (My own wool coat is not enough to keep me warm in this hideously cold province! Layers are a must!)- I tried to hop the back fence.
You caught the word “tried,” right? Although I could “BOING” over the fence, my poncho got hung up and HOOKED me there! I was dangling on the fence like a bad tinder date.
As I struggled to get out of the poncho, I could see all the festivities through the windows; music, twinkling Christmas lights, everyone chatting and merrymaking.
JUST. NEED. TO. GET. OFF. THIS. STUPID. FENCE!
Poof! Snowdrift meets the face. I stood up, shook the cold, dry snow off my naturally curly coat, and ripped the poncho off the fence. STUPID FENCE!
I TIP-TOED my way to the side of the house where the trellis reached the second floor.
These four little alpaca hooves could totally make a batman-esque scramble up the side of the house. Easy! Who needs thumbs? Not this guy! Da na na na na na na na na na Da na na na Batman! Or is it duunnn dunnn… duuuunnnn duun… duuunnnnnnnn dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnn dunnnn…wait that’s Jaws!
I made it to the second-floor bathroom window. I was just about to try prying it open and squeeze my fluffeh self through it when the bathroom door opened, and in came an elf and Santa!
And not just any Elf! A sexy elf! Buuuut Santa didn’t look like he’d been going to the gym… if you catch my drift!
I was hanging on to the trellis, all four hooves curled and jammed into the slats, and I felt steady while peeping through the foggy window.
But then the wind picked up. The harder the wind whipped, the harder it was to see who was making out with Santa in the bathroom. I was waving back and forth now. I was in peril! I needed them to leave! But I also wanted to knoooooow. But also leave! But also, whoooooooo. Which is what the wind sounded like up there. Ooooooooow! Hoooooooooo! So cold!
With my little Alpaca nose pressed to the glass and a death grip on the trellis, my eyes bugged out of my head when the sassy elf turned Santa my way and pushed him against the window for an aggressive but passionate kiss. In that brief second, I saw who it was. My Ex. GAFAH! GASP! GAAAAAAAHHHHH!
The trellis let loose from the house, and I pinwheeled backwards, falling freeeeeee into the cold dark of the night (insert dramatic music here). Imagine my surprise when I came to the neighbour’s yard, blinded by their motion light in the snow.
“Who’s out there?” A lady yelled.
“Uh, just me! Alonzo! I was at the party next door.” I replied.
“Alfred! I hear an animal! There’s a large animal in the backyard!” Oh heck. Here we go again. I got to my feet and shook the snow off.
Now or never! Do or die! I tried to hop the fence back from whence I came! But Alfred was a smidge faster than I was. He looped a rope around my neck and yanked me back off my feet.
“I got ‘em, Gladys! I got ‘em! Call Animal Control! I’ll wrestle him to the garage!”
I yanked and pulled and tried to reason with the old codger. But he was having none of it! He dragged me, kicking and screaming to the garage. I thought I was going to be at Christmas Dinner.
“Gladys, look at what this here fella’s wearing? Who dresses up a llama?”
“I’m an Alpaca!” I declared as Gladys felt up my luxurious and fuzzy scarf and poncho.
“He doesn’t need this kind of pageantry! Such a nice llama. Hold still, little buddy.”
I was being robbed! By seniors! Is nothing sacred anymore? Gladys fumbled with the button on my poncho. This was just too much! I bucked and yelled and launched myself at the garage door, bursting into the night and knocking over the Animal Control dude as I sped by.
“Da na na na na na na na na na Da na na na Batman!” Clip clop, clip clop.
The smell of the roasted pork wafted my way, making me drool. I almost considered crashing the party via the front door, but not with Gladys and Alfred in tow! I found my red V-dub down the block and hopped in.
Pulling a U-turn, I sped by the Animal Control Dude and the would-be robbers, “Feliz Navidad, suckers!”
I hope the Meraki Movement Christmas Party isn’t this eventful.
Everyone at Meraki Movement wishes you and yours a very Merry Christmas!
What an incredible year it’s been. We are so grateful for the outstanding customer support for this small local business, the markets and the market coordinators, our weavers/suppliers in Ecuador, and our fabulous staff!
*Cough* And me. The Alpaca. The reason for all of this! HAHA!
You all made a questionable start to 2022 worth it.
For that, we are very grateful!
Feliz Navidad, my friends.