Hola! It is I, Alonzo! Meraki Movement’s Fabulous (and only) Spokespaca!
Did someone yell FIRE?
NO! We yelled FIRE SALE! Alpaca-Fire-Sale!
Fire sale: 20% off from Dec 15-23 - automatically applied at checkout!
You know what you can buy with the FIRE SALE?
FIRE COLOURED Luxury Alpaca Products!
- The Campfire Alpaca Blanket – Need a yule log to go with the campfire blanket? It “burns” for 10 hours. HAHA!
- Sunrise Scarf – This Alpaca is eternally in love with Norah Jones, Sunrise. Best earworm ever! Take that Mariah Carey!
- Burnt Orange Quichua Alpaca Poncho – That is as hip as all these burnt orange vintage Pyrex dishes! I think I have a new hobby!
All these beautiful fire coloured super soft Alpaca products will surely keep you warm this holiday season!
SO get shopping!
New Years Resolution – Alpaca-style!
Christmas Market Season is OVER and A New Year is upon us!
And you know what that means? New Years Resolutions! That I’ll totally keep! HA!
Last year I joined a gym. I was really struggling with all the extra FLUFF. It was like I was summoning Betty White! Hair and all! (RIP, you beautiful soul!)
The first time I went to the gym, I was so nervous! But I channeled my inner Richard Simmons, put on my bandana (which is my favourite Alpaca Scarf – Jolly Rancher!) and waltzed right on in!
I perused the long lines of treadmills, all in use by fabulously fit humans going various speeds, looking so athletic and stuff.
I climbed aboard an empty treadmill, put my noise canceling earphones on, and tapped on the screens until the belt began to move. I TOTALLY GOT THIS! With Miss Piggy’s “Snackcersize” blaring in my ears, I began my trot- clip-clop, clip-clop!
I was winning at life! Yeah! I’m runnin’!
After a few minutes I noticed people covering their noses, gagagging, and getting off their treadmills.
Were we under attack? Was it scary stinking spiders? Oh, not spiders! Please don’t be scary stinky spiders!
I tried to turn off the machine, but all my tapping on the buttons just made it go faster. Now I was really runnin! I flung my earphones off, to ask for help, but I realized with horror, what the problem was for the other treadmill enthusiasts, I was gassy. Alpaca-gassy. With every clip-clop, there was a fart-fart. There was no one to help me!
Now, I don’t know about you, but I think humans are a bit over dramatic! Not like Alpaca-dramatic, more like Kim Kardashian charged by SEC kind of dramatic! Besides, who cares about a little toot-toot when I was about to be killed by a machine.A running machine! I was going to die by running!
What were my choices? As I panted away, I considered my options in very vivid detail; I could run to death, or just go limp. I can do limp. Just channel a fainting goat! Pep-talk time! Come on body, just go limp. LIMP! Just shake it all loose. You can do it. Let it all goooooo….
My woolly hoof got caught on the side of the belt and FLING! I WAS FLUNG!
I hit the back wall with a thud! I decided right then my running days were over.
But not my sauna days! I dragged myself to my feet and limped off in humiliation. A nice hot sauna would cure my bruised Alpaca-ego. Ever see an Alpaca in a sauna? Neither has anyone else. They all ran screaming.
So my gym membership is really a sauna membership. Bring on 2023!
New Year – New Alpaca-Style!
As New Years Eve gets closer, we evaluate the things that worked for us and the thinks we need to change.
For example, I’m really digging these Quinchua Ponchos! They come in 6 rich and glamorous colours! And I look incredible in ALL of them! In fact, I think I am going to wear the teal one to my Meraki New Years Party! So, they get to stay in 2023!
- Burnt Orange
Things that need to be obliterated (I couldn’t find a more PC way of saying it) in 2023.
- Gas prices. That needs to change, or this Alpaca be walkin!
- Greys Anatomy renewed for the millionth season? How is Grey not dead yet? Everyone else is!
- Alpaca mullets. Need I say more?
What ever you decide to keep in your life this New Year, make it our Lux Alpaca products! You won’t regret it, especially after you see (spoiler alert!) the…just kidding! Can’t tell you! You must wait for the next email!
So, if you aren’t signed up yet, you can do it here to hear about the Boxing Day Surprise.
Stay frosty, amigos!